


Los ojos nunca mienten

by alcaline (aliixce)



Series: Notes, stuff, ideas [3]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Other, and the songs that go with it, it's like a musical journey into ian's head, it's so deep, what was going on in ian's mind
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-17
Updated: 2015-05-17
Packaged: 2018-03-31 00:07:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3957043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aliixce/pseuds/alcaline
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ian was staring a the ceiling, lost in his own thought. Tons of paper sheets were laying on his lap. His Ipod was playing one song after another, and he let his hand wander on the paper.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Los ojos nunca mienten

**Author's Note:**

> So I decided to make a series about Ian listening to his Ipod, and where his mind goes with each song... Each chapter is supposed to be listened with the song that goes with.  
> This is going to be messy, kind of depressing too, but 3am drabbles aren't always happy I guess ;)  
> The title means "Eyes never lie".
> 
>  
> 
> So the first song is "Home" by ZZward (it's amazing, go listen to it *on-repeat-it's-even-better*).

_I don't need another taste of your lips,_

I do. In fact I fucking do.

  
_To know I'm home when we're lying here like this,_  
_The world could end today, the sun could just fall,_  
_Here in this bed we've made, we're safe from it all_

It's like I don't belong anywhere.   
  
_When nobody believes me, I know you will,_  
_When nobody can reach me, I know you will,_  
_When nobody can please me, I know you will_

I don't belong anywhere. I belong to him. I belong to him so I push him away, hoping I'll have my soul back. Hoping I'll have a bit on control of myself. Because he ever asks me to jump off a bridge, I will. I always will.

But I can't jump off from anywhere since I destroyed everything we had ?  
  
_Whoa,_  
_You get me, you get me home,_  
_You get me, you get me home,_  
_With you, I know I'm home_

This is unfair. I'm tired of life being so fucking unfair always and always and always. It never leaves us. We went trough everything. We went through the closet, through his abusive dad, through a kid and a Russian wife. And the only thing that's going to fuck things up ? It's me.

It's me, it's always me with my fucking head.

My fucking fault.

  
_We don't need my father to give his blessing,_  
_We don't match on paper, but it don't mean a thing,_  
_When all my walls cave in, you pull me through it,_  
_When there's a gun at me, you'd take the bullet_  
  
_When nobody believes me, I know you will,_  
_When nobody can reach me, I know you will,_  
_When nobody can please me, I know you will_  
  
_Whoa,_  
_You get me, you get me home,_  
_You get me, you get me home,_  
_With you, I know I'm home_

 

Loves always seems so easy in songs.

Hearing it, it's either black or white, passion or disaster.

They never realized that the two can be so close, always mixed up until the boundaries are blurred. It's desire filled with anger. Love isn't that easy, there's no choice in good or bad. There's no criminal and no victim. It's both, always. It's hurting and getting hurt. It hurts because it's the needle under your skin, stealing parts of yourself until they belong to someone else. And you have no choice in that because love is being powerless. Love is mean, love is dirty.

It's fucking vicious, it's a game. A game when you're not a player, you're a card. You're the fucking card getting smashed onto the table again and again. And you have no idea if you're gonna win or die.

 

  
_I'm crazy, I get mean,_  
_But baby, you adore me,_  
_Shut it down, I get mine,_  
_My soldier right by my side,_  
_My fire, you feed it,_  
_Give it to me when I need it,_  
_I'm all yours, so take me,_  
_Good God, this love's amazing,_  
  


 

 

Love is all of that.

Until you're alone.


End file.
